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It Started With Burnout… and a Spreadsheet

You ever stare at your ceiling fan at 2 a.m., mentally calculating payroll, invoices, and wondering what the hell am I doing with my life? Yeah. That was me, six months ago. I owned a tidy little service business—nothing fancy, but it paid the bills and then some. Built it from scratch, ran it for nearly a decade, and at some point… it started running me.

I wasn’t broke. I wasn’t failing. I was just done. Tired of clients texting me on Sundays. Tired of employees quitting after “finding themselves.” Tired of fixing stuff that should’ve worked the first time.

So I opened a spreadsheet, listed everything the business made, owed, owned, and grossed, then sat there sipping burnt coffee like some Wall Street dropout in flip-flops. I was gonna sell. For cash. And fast.

Reality Check—Buyers Don’t Care About Your Sweat Equity

Now here’s something nobody tells you: buyers don’t care how many hours you bled into your business. They care about numbers. Cold, dry, brutal numbers.

I thought, “Hey, I’ve been at this 10 years—gotta be worth a chunk.” But when I ran comps and talked to a couple of brokers, reality slapped me like a wet fish. You see, buyers pay based on profit, not passion. Recurring revenue? Gold. Owner dependency? Trash.

I had to do some quick fixes. Systematize a few ops. Automate some billing. And for the love of sanity, stop being the business. I trained one of my leads to take over my role for a month. Best decision I made.

The Backdoor Buyer I Almost Ignored

Funny thing—while I was getting ready to list with a broker, a random vendor I’d worked with for years says, “Hey, if you’re ever thinking of selling, hit me up.”

Now, I could’ve brushed it off. But something clicked. I invited him for coffee. Turned into lunch. Turned into a tour of the shop. Two weeks later, he made a verbal offer.

No listings. No brokers. No BS. Just a guy who already knew the biz, liked the margins, and had the cash.

The Deal Dance (a.k.a. Trust But Lawyer Up)

Even when a deal feels perfect, get everything in writing. I mean everything. I brought in a transactional attorney—cost me more than I liked, but saved me a world of pain. Buyer wanted some training time after the handoff, so we negotiated a 30-day paid consulting period post-sale. Clean. No surprises.

Oh, and pro tip: don’t be greedy. I could’ve squeezed a few grand more. But I wanted closure, not a six-month tug-of-war. We shook hands, signed papers, wired the funds, and boom—money hit my account like a Vegas jackpot.

What I Learned (So You Don’t Step on the Same Rakes)

If you’re thinking about selling your business for cash—like, really walking away with money in the bank—here’s the bare truth:

• Cash buyers are out there, but you need to be ready with clean books and a tight pitch.

• Your business needs to run without you. If it collapses the moment you leave, it’s not a business—it’s a job.

• Snoop around your network. Your future buyer might already be orbiting your world.

• Know your number—what’s the least you’ll take and still feel good walking away?

• Hire a good attorney. Even if you think it’s “just a small deal.” Legal landmines don’t care about deal size.

The Morning After Exit—Freedom & Panic

The day after the wire cleared, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I stood in the kitchen like a ghost in gym shorts, unsure if I should celebrate or scream into a pillow. I’d sold my business. For cash. No earn-out. No equity handcuffs. No golden handshakes. Just me, my coffee, and a blank calendar.

It felt… weird. Free, yes—but also like losing a part of my identity. That’s normal. You get over it. Especially when you check your bank balance. 😉

Final Thought: Know When to Fold ‘Em

Selling a small business is part math, part timing, and a whole lotta emotional kung fu. But if you’re burning out, or just ready to cash out and try something new, don’t let guilt or fear chain you to the wheel.

You built it. You can sell it. And you can walk away with your head high—and your pockets full.

Just don’t forget to breathe on day one of freedom.

And maybe buy yourself something stupid. You earned it. 😎

So, picture this: I’m sitting across from my biggest competitor—let’s call him Frank the Shark—nursing an espresso I didn’t even want. I knew what he wanted. He knew what I might want. And the tension? Yeah, it was thick enough to slice with a rusty butter knife.

But this wasn’t just some ego duel. I was about to make one of the riskiest moves a business owner can make: selling my business to a competitor.

The Temptation (and the Trap) of Selling to a Rival

You know the drill. You’re grinding every day, building your business brick by brick. Then one day, the phone rings—or more likely, your inbox pings—and it’s your top competitor asking, “Ever thought about selling?”

Cue the internal alarm bells. 🚨

On the surface, it sounds like a win. They already know the industry, they see the value, and they might even offer a better price than some random private equity firm sniffing around. But here’s the kicker: they also know your weaknesses. And that, my friend, makes it a high-stakes poker game.

My First Mistake: Talking Too Much, Too Soon

Let me tell you what not to do.

I got excited. I thought I was in control. Frank asked some seemingly harmless questions—client numbers, revenue breakdowns, supplier lists—and before I knew it, I’d basically gift-wrapped my business playbook and handed it over like it was a Christmas bonus.

Big mistake. HUGE.

He hadn’t even made an offer yet. And I was already exposed like a sunburnt tourist at a Cancun beach bar.

Lock It Down: The Power of NDAs and Boundaries

Before you even consider discussing anything beyond “How’s the weather?” with a competitor, you need a Non-Disclosure Agreement that’s tighter than Fort Knox.

Don’t rely on handshake deals or “bro code.” You need real, legal protection. Spell out what they can’t do with your info. Because trust me, some of these guys play dirty. One week they’re offering to buy you out, and the next they’re undercutting your prices using the numbers you shared.

And don’t just stop at an NDA. Put boundaries in place:

• No access to proprietary systems.

• No employee introductions.

• No financial details without legal review.

Be polite, but be a stone-cold operator.

The Bait-and-Switch: When They Just Want Intel

You’d be shocked how often competitors pretend to be buyers just to get a peek under your hood. They’ll stroke your ego, toss around big numbers, and even schedule fake “due diligence” meetings just to grab what they can.

Happened to me once with a regional buyer. Let’s call him Marty the Mole. The guy brought donuts, complimented my lobby artwork, and then ghosted me like a bad Tinder date after he got the info he needed.

Moral of the story? Guard your data like it’s your retirement account.

When It’s Actually Worth It

Alright, I’m not saying it’s never a good idea.

Sometimes, selling to a competitor is your cleanest exit. Maybe they offer a premium to eliminate you from the market. Maybe they’re the only ones who understand the beast you’ve built. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re tired and want out.

In my case, I ended up selling—to a different competitor (not Frank) who was classy, strategic, and didn’t try to nickel and dime me.

But I had my ducks in a row:
✅ NDA signed and notarized
✅ Clean financials
✅ Attorney on speed dial
✅ Strategic counter-intel (yes, I asked questions too)
✅ Performance-based earnout clause

No regrets.

Key Things I Learned the Hard Way

• Your competitor is not your friend. Even if they send you a bottle of bourbon.

• Don’t share sensitive data until due diligence is real and structured.

• Always have legal eyes on the deal. It’s not paranoia, it’s protection.

• Plan your exit like you’re planning a heist. Precision matters.

Final Thoughts: Play to Win, Not Just to Sell

If you’re thinking about selling to a competitor, do it like a boss. Not a desperate owner looking for a quick buck. This isn’t amateur hour—it’s war disguised as a handshake.

Treat it like a negotiation, not a surrender.

Oh, and never—never—let your team find out through the grapevine. That’s a whole different mess I’ll save for another blog post. 😅

Ready for a Smooth (and Safe) Exit?

Selling your business is personal. Make it powerful, profitable, and—above all—smart.

Now, go out there and don’t let “Frank the Shark” eat you alive. 🦈

Selling a Business Confidentially Online: One Real Story, Zero Regrets

Alright, so here’s the deal—I sold my business online, and nobody knew. Not my competitors. Not my employees. Not even my nosey neighbor who somehow knows everything about everyone. If you’ve ever thought, “How the hell do I sell my business without the whole world finding out?”—pull up a chair, because I’ve been there, and I came out the other side with cash in the bank and my privacy intact.

Let me walk you through how it all went down—raw, real, and yes, with a few potholes I barely dodged. Think of this as the story I’d tell you over a drink… if you were buying.

The First Rule of Selling a Business: Don’t Talk About Selling Your Business

I learned this the hard way.

A few years ago, I made the rookie mistake of mentioning just once in a casual convo at a Chamber of Commerce breakfast that I might be “exploring some options.” Within a week, I had:

• A competitor offering to “help me out” (translation: lowball me).

• Employees whispering about job security.

• A long-time client ghosting me like I’d caught a case of business leprosy.

Never again.

So when I finally decided to pull the trigger for real, I knew one thing: it had to be under the radar. Quiet. Surgical. Like a mission in a spy movie, except instead of saving the world, I was saving my reputation (and my valuation).

Going Online Without Blowing Up Your Spot

You might think selling a business online means blasting it across some public marketplace like you’re hawking an old couch on Craigslist. Nope. That’s amateur hour.

Instead, I went the “whisper network” route—online listings that don’t scream your business name, paired with a tight non-disclosure process. I used a platform where the buyer had to sign an NDA before they even got to know what kind of business I was selling. Not just who, but what.

It felt a little sketchy at first—like dating with a blindfold on—but it worked.

Pro tip? Vet the platform hard. If the site looks like it was built in 2007 and still has a “Guestbook” page, run.

Playing It Cool While Setting Up My Exit

This part was weird. I was still running the business like everything was fine, all while fielding emails from anonymous buyers using names like “bizinvestor89” and “FreedomCapitalHoldingsLLC” (spoiler: that one was a guy named Steve who worked out of a WeWork in Tulsa).

But I kept the poker face. Staff meetings? Same energy. Client pitches? Still closing. Internally I was grinding through due diligence packages at 2 a.m., but to the outside world? Business as usual.

Even my dog had no clue. 🐶 (Although he did get suspicious about all the midnight coffee.)

Screening Buyers Without Losing My Mind

Here’s where the game gets real.

You don’t want just anyone sniffing around your numbers. I had to balance being open enough to attract legit buyers… while staying locked down enough that no tire-kicker could reverse engineer my business model.

What helped?

• Pre-qualifying buyers with proof of funds. (If they couldn’t buy a vending machine, they weren’t seeing my P&L.)

• A killer one-page teaser—just enough info to spark interest, not enough to reveal my secrets.

• A “broker-lite” friend who helped filter the noise. I paid him in bourbon and bad stock tips.

When the Offer Hit My Inbox…

It felt like a Tinder match from the universe. The buyer got it. He understood the business, didn’t flinch at the valuation, and wanted a quick, clean close. No drama, no drawn-out games.

The LOI came in hot. We negotiated a few terms, I lawyered up (quietly), and before I knew it, I was signing the asset purchase agreement over coffee while pretending I was just “working from home.”

Then came the wire. I refreshed my bank account six times. When the number hit? I just sat there, stunned. And then laughed like a lunatic.

Life After the Sale: Quiet Wins

Here’s the funny part: nobody noticed.

The team transitioned smoothly to the new owner. Clients got an email about a “strategic partnership.” I took a month off and disappeared to Montana to go fly-fishing, read weird sci-fi, and think about what’s next.

Best of all? I didn’t have to deal with the chaos of a public listing. No rumors. No drama. Just a clean break and a fat deposit.

Final Thoughts from a Guy Who’s Been There

If you’re thinking about selling your business online—and keeping it confidential—just know this: it’s possible. You don’t need to blow up your spot to make your exit.

Just be smart, be quiet, and don’t trust anyone named “bizhunter007” without vetting them first.

Would I do it again? Hell yes.

But first… maybe a nap. And some whiskey. 🍻

Key Takeaways for Selling Your Business Confidentially Online

• Keep it hush-hush: Avoid talking about your sale until the ink is dry.

• Use anonymous listings: Platforms with strict NDA gates are your friend.

• Vet like a detective: Only talk numbers with serious, verified buyers.

• Stay cool: Keep your business running strong until the very last day.

• Celebrate in silence: The best wins are the ones nobody sees coming.

Ready to make your move but don’t want the circus?

Just remember—some exits are meant to be silent… but powerful.

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t all yachts and champagne. But it wasn’t all sharks and spreadsheets either. Somewhere in between, I learned a few things, bruised my ego (twice), and walked away with a deal that changed my life.

If you’ve ever sat in your office at 2 a.m., sipping a flat LaCroix, staring at a profit-and-loss sheet like it’s hieroglyphics, and wondered, “Is it time to sell?” — this one’s for you.

The Moment I Knew It Was Time to Sell

I didn’t wake up one day and yell, “That’s it, I’m selling to private equity!” Nope. It was more like a slow burn.

The business had grown beyond what I could (or frankly, wanted to) manage. We were doing 8-figures, had 47 employees, and Slack was pinging me more than my teenage daughter. Every decision felt like playing chess underwater.

The tipping point? A six-hour argument over an enterprise software migration that cost us $142,000 and my last shred of sanity. That night, I looked at myself in the mirror, beard scruff and all, and said: “This business needs a new daddy.”

Why Private Equity? Why Not Just Sell to a Competitor?

Great question. I flirted with the idea of selling to a competitor. Had a few coffees. Some Zooms. One guy even pitched me from his yacht (bro… we get it).

But every convo felt like they were buying me, not just the business. They wanted me chained to the company for another 5 years. Nah, I didn’t build this thing to stay on as middle management.

Private equity firms, on the other hand, had structure. Teams. Processes. They weren’t buying me—they were buying the system I’d built. That was the dream. They wanted scale, not babysitting.

The Dance: Getting Courted by Private Equity

When word got out that I was “considering strategic options” (PE code for I might be selling, hit me up), the inbox filled up faster than a TikTok trend.

Most of them came with fancy decks and slick jargon. “We unlock synergies.” “We enhance enterprise value.” Bro. Just tell me if you’re gonna gut my team or not.

Eventually, I landed on a group out of Chicago. Sharp suits, but they didn’t talk down to me. They saw the value in my customer base, loved our margins, and didn’t flinch when I dropped my number. We’re talking real grown-up energy.

Due Diligence: A Fancy Way of Saying “Let’s Turn You Inside Out”

Once we agreed on a rough valuation and LOI (that’s Letter of Intent, aka the pre-nup before the marriage), it got real.

They asked for everything. Bank statements, tax returns, contracts from 5 years ago that even I forgot we had. One guy literally asked for our “historical churn by cohort.” I had to Google it.

I won’t lie—due diligence felt like a root canal while running a marathon. But here’s the thing: if your books are clean, and your ops are tight, you’ll get through it. Barefoot and bruised, maybe. But through it.

The Exit: What I Walked Away With (And What I Didn’t)

The deal closed 92 days after signing the LOI. I sold 85% of the business for a mid-8-figure valuation. Kept a little skin in the game because hey, why not ride the wave one more time?

The money hit my account on a Tuesday. I took a breath that felt like I’d been holding it since 2017.

But here’s what they don’t tell you: the day after the wire clears, you still wake up at 6 a.m. Your mind still races. You don’t instantly become Zen because your bank app has extra commas.

I had to relearn how to not be the boss. It was weird. Kinda like watching your kid get adopted by a really rich family. You’re happy, proud, a little jealous… and kinda sad.

Would I Do It Again?

100%. But I’d do it smarter.

• I’d get a better M&A advisor from day one. Mine was good. But I needed great.

• I’d prep the business like I was selling a house. Fix the leaky faucets, paint the walls, organize the drawers. Translation? SOPs, clean financials, scalable team.

• I’d be more honest with myself earlier. I held on longer than I should’ve. Not because I loved it… but because I was scared of what came next.

Final Thoughts: Should You Sell to Private Equity?

If your business is humming, but your soul is fried… if you’ve taken it as far as you can, but it still has room to grow… and if you’re cool letting someone else drive while you sip margaritas (or build your next empire)—then yeah. It might be time.

Just know this: it’s not just about the money. It’s about knowing when to let go. It’s about trusting that what you built is strong enough to live beyond you.

Oh, and make sure your lawyer actually reads the fine print. Trust me on that one 😅

Selling to private equity doesn’t mean selling out. It means knowing your worth, cashing the check, and walking away with your head high.

Just don’t forget to enjoy the ride. Even the bumpy parts.

Because one day, you’ll look back and realize… that crazy little business? It changed everything.

Let me tell you a story that still feels weird to say out loud:

I sold my dental practice, walked out with a check bigger than my first five years of revenue combined, and took a Tuesday morning nap… on a boat.

Yeah, a boat. Not a yacht (yet), but a salty little cruiser docked off the coast that I now call my part-time retirement office. Because after 27 years of root canals, payroll headaches, and “emergency” calls at 11 PM, I was done. But figuring out how to sell the business? That nearly killed me faster than that one patient who tried to bite me during a cleaning.

Let me walk you through what happened—maybe it’ll save you from the chaos I almost got swallowed by.

The Wake-Up Call (a.k.a. My Back Gave Out on a Thursday)

There’s a moment when your body tells you what your pride won’t. Mine was bending over to pick up a dropped tray of dental picks, and something in my lower back just said, “Nope. Not today.”

I sat on the floor of my office, surrounded by sterilized instruments and a dull ache in my spine, and thought: What the hell am I still doing here?

I had been “thinking” about retirement for years. You know how it goes—I’ll do it next year. Just need one more big case. Just need the books to look better. Just need that associate to finally stick around.

Spoiler: none of that magically works out.

Step One: Accept That Selling a Dental Practice Isn’t Like Selling a Used Car

At first, I thought I could throw the practice up on some biz-for-sale site and the offers would roll in. I imagined a younger version of myself walking in, check in hand, eager to take the keys.

Instead? Crickets. Or worse—lowballers who thought my 7-operatory setup with a loyal patient base was worth less than a used Tesla.

Here’s what I learned: you’re not just selling equipment. You’re selling goodwill, systems, reputation, and the future earnings potential of a very specific lifestyle business. If you don’t know how to present that right, the vultures will circle.

Step Two: Bring in the Pros (a.k.a. Why I Finally Listened to My Wife)

My wife had been gently pushing me to talk to a dental practice broker for months. I resisted because, let’s be real, I thought they’d just take a cut and do what I could do myself. Wrong again, champ.

The broker didn’t just slap a price tag on it and pray. They tore through my books, asked real questions about operations, contracts, hygiene schedules, patient retention, referral flow… even my Yelp reviews. Stuff I hadn’t thought about in years.

They helped clean up my financials, package the deal in a way that made sense to buyers, and screen the people who were actually serious. No tire kickers. No dreamers. Just folks ready to talk numbers.

Step Three: Negotiation Is a Blood Sport (But in a Good Suit)

Here’s where things got interesting.

One buyer wanted to cut the staff. Another wanted to rename the whole place and gut the branding. A third wanted me to stay on as an associate for five years, which I shut down immediately—if I wanted to keep working full time, I wouldn’t be selling.

I treated the deal like I used to handle poker nights with the boys: no tells, no rushing, and don’t show your cards too soon.

The final buyer? A young dentist with sharp skills and a deep respect for the legacy I’d built. We negotiated a fair price, a 90-day transition plan, and some bonus performance-based payouts that were smartly structured for both sides.

The Day I Handed Over the Keys

I wish I could say I cried.

I didn’t. I smiled, shook the guy’s hand, and walked out to my truck. Sat there for a minute. Let it sink in.

Then I drove straight to the marina, got on that little boat, and popped a cold one. No emails, no emergencies, no 7 AM Monday huddle to prep for.

Just waves, a seagull yelling something profane, and the weirdly quiet sound of freedom.

What I Wish I’d Known 5 Years Ago

Look, if you’re even thinking about selling your dental practice for retirement, don’t wait until your back screams louder than your logic. Here’s my punch list:

• Start grooming your financials now. Sloppy books kill good deals.

• Find a broker who specializes in dental practices. They know the terrain.

• Decide what matters to you post-sale. Money’s great, but legacy and peace of mind count too.

• Have an exit plan. What are you retiring to? You’ll need purpose, even if it’s fishing and golf.

• Don’t go it alone. Pride can be expensive. And lonely.

Final Thoughts from the Boat Deck

Selling my dental practice wasn’t just a business move—it was a life pivot. I didn’t retire because I was tired of patients. I retired because I finally valued my time as much as I valued theirs.

And if you’re on the fence, let me be your sign: start planning now. Set the terms before life sets them for you.

Because Tuesdays on a boat? They hit different when you’ve earned them. 😎

— A (mostly) retired dentist, still flossing.

Let me tell you something most folks won’t admit until they’ve been through it…

Selling a restaurant? It’s a wild ride. One minute you’re wiping down tables, the next you’re fielding questions from a guy named Todd about “EBITDA” like it’s the only word that matters in the universe. 🙄

I didn’t plan to sell. Not at first. But here’s how it happened—and how that one free valuation turned the whole thing around.

The Breaking Point: When Passion Starts to Taste Like Burnt Toast

I used to love the buzz of a packed dining room. Friday nights? Electric. That sound of clinking forks, laughter, the kitchen line yelling “Order up!” like it was a war chant—I lived for it.

But after a decade, the spark started flickering. I’d go home smelling like fryer oil and existential dread.

Staff turnover was insane, my liquor vendor was ghosting me, and don’t even get me started on the rent increases.

I looked in the mirror one night and thought, “Am I gonna do this until I’m 70?”

Nope.

Step One: Admit You’re Ready (Even If You’re Not)

It hit me hard. Letting go felt like failure at first. But it wasn’t. It was evolution.

And once I accepted that, I started googling things like how to sell my restaurant without getting fleeced. That’s when I saw something that caught my eye: “Free business valuation—no strings attached.”

Now normally, anything with “free” in the headline makes me suspicious. Like, okay, what’s the catch, do I have to attend a webinar with some guy in a rented Lamborghini?

But I clicked. Desperation’ll do that.

What That Free Valuation Really Showed Me

I filled out a short form. Just basic stuff—revenue, square footage, years in business, seating capacity, etc.

Two days later, I got a full breakdown in my inbox.

Now this was eye-opening.

• I found out my liquor license alone had resale value I hadn’t even considered

• My weekend brunch numbers? Total goldmine (and I’d been undercharging!)

• And the goodwill of the brand I’d built? Worth more than the kitchen equipment I’d been obsessing over

I remember pacing around my living room in socks thinking, Damn. Maybe I’ve been sitting on something valuable and didn’t even know it.

The Real Game-Changer: Knowing What Buyers Actually Want

Once I had the valuation, I knew where I stood. But better than that? I knew what buyers were looking for.

They didn’t care that I had hand-painted murals on the walls. Or that the mashed potatoes were made with my grandma’s secret technique. They wanted:

• Clean financials 🧾

• Consistent foot traffic 📈

• Systems they could plug into without babysitting a kitchen crew

So I spent the next month getting my house in order. Cleaned up the books. Documented SOPs. Even replaced the POS system (painful, but worth it).

Meeting Buyers Without Losing My Mind

Once I was prepped, I worked with a broker (not required, but helped speed things up). Because of that valuation, I didn’t walk in blind. I knew what my business was really worth.

No more lowball offers. No more “but what if we pay you in installments… over six years… with interest… maybe?” 😅

I eventually found a buyer who wanted to turn my place into a fast-casual spin-off with my old recipes. Honestly? It felt like leaving my kid with a good foster family.

What I Learned (That I Wish I’d Known Sooner)

Here’s the no-BS advice I’d give any restaurant owner:

• Get a valuation. Even if you’re thinking about selling “someday.” It costs you nothing and gives you leverage.

• Detach emotionally. Buyers aren’t buying your memories—they’re buying your margins.

• Prep like you’re staying. Ironically, the better your systems, the faster you’ll find a buyer.

• Don’t wing it. This is probably your biggest payday. Treat it that way.

Wrapping It Up Like a Warm Burrito 🌯

If you’re reading this and your gut’s been whispering, “Maybe it’s time…” — don’t ignore it.

Start with that free valuation. No pressure, no awkward sales calls (at least, not with the one I used). Just clarity. And once you know what you’ve got, you can play the game to win.

I did.

And now? I spend my evenings drinking wine on the back deck, not cleaning out grease traps at midnight. 🍷

Life’s too short to burn out in a walk-in cooler.

“Am I sitting on a goldmine… or a glorified lemonade stand?” That’s the question I asked myself at 2:17 AM while staring at my ceiling fan, which, ironically, was spinning faster than my thought process.

I had built this business from scratch—blood, sweat, overdrafts, and an unhealthy amount of black coffee. But now, with whispers of selling floating around in my head like smoke from an old cigar lounge, I had no clue what the thing was actually worth.

So, here’s the raw, unfiltered truth of what I found—numbers, emotions, near-panic attacks and all.

What Business Valuation Really Means (Spoiler: It’s Not Just About Revenue)

Let’s start with the biggest misconception I had: “Just multiply my net income by some magic number and boom—that’s the value.”

Yeah, no. 😅

Turns out, valuation is like dating. It’s part hard facts (your income, your assets), and part vibes (how attractive your business looks to buyers). When I spoke to a local broker, they hit me with this line: “A business is worth what someone’s willing to pay—and what you’re willing to accept.” Simple, brutal, true.

They broke it down into a few key areas:

• Cash Flow – Not just revenue, but how much cash I was actually keeping.

• Assets & Inventory – Turns out, those old shelves in the back did count.

• Customer Loyalty – Recurring clients? That’s gold. One-off buyers? Meh.

• Market Positioning – Are you the hotshot in town, or just another player?

• Owner Involvement – If I had to show up every day to keep it alive… that slashed value real quick.

The Day I Googled “How to Value a Small Business” and Fell Into a Rabbit Hole 🕳️

Okay, full confession—I tried to DIY this whole thing at first.

I downloaded a “free valuation calculator” from some website that looked like it hadn’t been updated since MySpace was cool. I plugged in some numbers (a little generously, I’ll admit), and it spit out a seven-figure estimate.

I was pumped. I strutted around like I’d just won the entrepreneurial lottery.

Then I showed that number to an actual advisor and got the look. You know the one—like I’d told them I just invested my 401(k) in Beanie Babies.

They told me: “You’re using multiples without understanding what drives them.”

Here’s what they meant:

• SaaS company with recurring revenue? You might get a 5x multiple.

• Mom-and-pop service business tied to one zip code? Maybe 1x to 2x, if you’re lucky.

• Me? I was somewhere in the middle, with just enough recurring customers to keep a buyer interested, but not enough to make them throw cash at me.

Ouch. But fair.

Emotional Attachment Will Lie to You (And Buyers Know It)

Here’s where it gets personal.

I had convinced myself that my business was priceless. After all, I lived it. Every weekend sacrificed, every midnight oil burned—it all added up, right?

Not to the market.

Buyers don’t pay for your stress. They pay for profit, growth potential, and whether or not you’ve created a machine that runs without you.

And let me tell you, hearing “Your business is basically a really demanding job” felt like a slap in the ego.

But that was the moment things shifted.

I started viewing the business like a product. Something clean, functional, desirable. Not a diary of my hustle, but a machine that could be sold.

The “Real” Number: What I Was Actually Worth

After all the soul-searching, spreadsheet-wrangling, and professional consultations, I finally landed on a realistic range: about 2.3x my SDE (Seller’s Discretionary Earnings).

That meant: My salary + perks + profit + any “funny money” I ran through the books (hello, “business” lunches 🍔).

It wasn’t the number I dreamed of, but it was fair. It was solid. And most importantly, it was something I could defend in front of a buyer without sweating through my shirt.

What I’d Tell a Friend Asking, “How Much Is My Business Worth?”

If you’re reading this and wondering what your number is, here’s the raw truth:

• Don’t trust your gut. Trust your books.

• Get an outside perspective. You’re too close to see straight.

• **The market doesn’t care what you feel. It cares what you earn. **

• If your business can’t run without you, it’s not a business. It’s a job.

And one more thing?

Get your house in order early. Buyers love clean books, smooth systems, and low drama. Think of your business like a house on Zillow—clutter kills offers.

Final Thoughts (a.k.a. Me Getting Sentimental)

I started this journey thinking I was about to sell a unicorn. What I discovered was a decent, hardworking mule—and you know what? That’s okay. Mules are strong, reliable, and get the job done.

Whether you’re months or years away from selling, start asking the hard question now: What’s it really worth?

Because the answer might not be what you expect—but it’ll be what you need to hear.

And hey… if you ever need someone to talk you off the ledge after your first “real” valuation? Been there. Still got the stress rash to prove it. 😅

Let’s just say, I’m older, wiser, and slightly more humble now.

And yeah—I’d totally do it again.

I never thought I’d be that guy—googling “business broker near me” at 2 a.m. with a lukewarm beer in hand, staring down the blinking cursor like it held all the answers. But there I was, dead tired, halfway sentimental, halfway ruthless, and about 80% sure I was ready to sell the business I’d built from scratch.

So if you’re reading this with that same gnawing feeling in your gut—part anxiety, part thrill—just know: I’ve been there. And let me tell you what really went down when I decided to bring in a business broker to help sell my company.

The Wake-Up Call: When I Knew It Was Time

You know how some people talk about their “aha moment”? Yeah, mine was less romantic and more of a what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life kind of moment.

After a particularly brutal quarter, I sat across from my accountant as he walked me through my P&L statement like it was the script to a horror film. I had solid revenue. Clean books. But I was burnt out. Like, crispy burnt. My heart wasn’t in it anymore, and the thought of scaling just made me want to throw my phone in the ocean.

So instead of doubling down, I said screw it—I’m selling.

The Search: Business Broker Near Me? Let’s Go

I started local. I figured, why not keep it close to home? Someone who understands the neighborhood, the pulse of the city, the types of buyers lurking in our market. I wasn’t looking for a suit with generic pitches—I wanted someone scrappy, sharp, and unafraid to call BS when they saw it.

My first few calls? Brutal. One guy pitched me like he was selling a used Honda. Another asked if my “online presence” was on Facebook… and that was it. I almost gave up.

But then, I met her. A business broker who actually listened. She’d sold companies like mine before—mid-sized, service-based, decent EBITDA, real potential. She didn’t sugarcoat things. She asked about my skeletons, my customer concentration, even my emotional readiness to let go. That’s when I knew I’d found the one.

The Prep: More Than Just Numbers

Let’s be real—selling a business isn’t just handing over your books and calling it a day. There’s ego involved. Identity. It’s messy.

My broker worked with me like a coach. She had me clean up my contracts, trim fat from expenses, and tighten up my operations just enough to look sexy to a buyer but not like I was trying too hard.

She also helped me craft a narrative. Not some cringey “American dream” sob story, but a real picture of where the company had been, where it was now, and where it could go in the right hands.

That story? It sold the business. Not just the numbers.

The Buyer Parade: Tire-Kickers and Sharks

Here’s where things got spicy. Once my listing was out, the clowns came rolling in. One guy asked if I’d finance 90% of the sale price. Another wanted to turn my company into a crypto startup. 🙄

But through it all, my broker played gatekeeper. She filtered the noise, grilled the prospects, and only brought me the serious ones. We ended up with three legitimate offers. And let me tell you—it felt good to be courted.

The Close: Bittersweet, But Right

Closing day hit harder than I expected. We were at the title office, pens in hand, legal pads scattered like confetti. I signed my name, shook hands, smiled for the awkward photo… and then just sat in my car for a bit.

You ever sit in silence, not sure if you want to cry, celebrate, or sleep for a week? That was me. But deep down, I knew—I made the right call.

So, Should You Hire a Business Broker Near You?

Here’s the deal: if you’re serious about selling—and I mean really selling, not just daydreaming between emails—you need a pro. Not your cousin who “knows a guy.” Not some national firm that sees you as spreadsheet #48. A legit business broker near you, who gets your market, your business, and your crazy mix of hesitation and hope.

The right one will:

• Help you figure out if you’re actually ready

• Make your business look like a dream (without lying)

• Find real buyers who aren’t just kicking tires

• Handle the hard convos so you can sleep at night

• Get you the best possible deal—and not just on paper

Final Thoughts: You Only Sell Once… Make It Count

Selling your business is like ending a long relationship. It’s personal. It’s weird. It messes with your head. But if you do it right, with the right help, it can also be the most liberating move of your life.

So if you’re googling “business broker near me,” raise your glass. 🍻 You’re not alone. Just make sure you pick someone who treats your company like it’s worth more than just a number.

Because it is.

And so are you.

So, picture this…

It’s 2:17 AM. I’m sitting in my home office—shirtless, hair doing its own interpretive dance—and I’ve got a half-drunk energy drink in one hand and a legal pad in the other. My dog’s asleep on a pile of invoices, and I’m staring at a whiteboard that’s equal parts inspiration and insanity.

It hit me: Why am I about to hand over 10% of my life’s work to a broker when I could just sell this thing myself?

I mean, I built this business from scratch—scrappy, lean, and mean. If anyone’s gonna squeeze every last drop of value out of it, it’s gonna be me.

Let me walk you through how I sold my service business with zero broker fees, kept my sanity (mostly), and walked away with a grin and a fat check.

Why I Said “No Thanks” to Brokers

First off, let’s get one thing straight—I don’t hate business brokers. Some of them are sharp, no-nonsense folks who know how to play the game. But I wasn’t looking to play the game.

I was trying to cash out clean, not write a big thank-you check to someone for sending a couple emails and ghosting me during negotiations.

Here’s what rubbed me the wrong way:

• The 8-12% commission felt like a slap in the face.

• They wanted control—of my timeline, my pitch, even my buyer list.

• And frankly, most of the ones I talked to didn’t know my industry like I did.

So I decided to roll up my sleeves and do what I’ve always done—figure it out myself.

Step 1: Getting My House in Order (Financially and Emotionally)

Before I even whispered the word “sell,” I had to clean up the mess. Running a service business is messy. Think:

• Recurring contracts that were half handshake, half crossed fingers.

• A QuickBooks file that looked like it had survived a hurricane.

• Random Google Docs that passed as “SOPs.”

So, I:

• Streamlined my books (shoutout to my caffeine-fueled accountant).

• Documented key processes—nothing fancy, just screen-recordings and bullet points.

• Created a one-pager with core metrics, growth potential, and revenue breakdowns.

Oh, and I also had to emotionally detach—this was my baby, but I had to start seeing it like an asset. Cold. Hard. Sellable.

Step 2: Finding Buyers Without Looking Desperate

Here’s where things got… interesting.

I didn’t want to shout from the rooftops that I was selling—word gets around fast in a service biz, and I didn’t need employees or clients freaking out.

So I took the backdoor route:

• I quietly told a couple friendly competitors I trusted (emphasis on “quietly”).

• Reached out to a few angel investor types who had sniffed around before.

• And yeah, I made a simple, no-fluff listing on one of those biz-for-sale marketplaces under an alias (ninja status).

No sleazy pitch decks. No hard sell. Just “Here’s what it is. Here’s what it makes. You interested?”

The result? I had three legit buyers in less than a month.

Step 3: Negotiating Like a Maniac (But With a Smile)

Now, this part? This is where the broker would’ve earned their cut… if I had one.

Each buyer came in with different offers:

• One guy wanted to pay less but promised to “grow it together” (yeah, no).

• Another offered all cash but wanted a 90-day transition AND a non-compete tighter than my grandma’s Tupperware lid.

• Third one was a wildcard—young, hungry, and flush with cash from a recent exit.

I leaned into that last one. Not just because the money was right—but because he vibed with the business, the clients, the hustle. It felt… right.

We did the whole back-and-forth, pulled in my lawyer to dot the I’s and cross the T’s, and boom—

Deal closed. No broker. No nonsense. No regrets.

The Aftermath: What I Learned (and What I’d Do Differently)

Looking back, a few things really made this work:

• I knew my numbers. Like, could-quote-them-in-my-sleep knew them.

• I didn’t get greedy—but I didn’t lowball myself either.

• I treated buyers like equals, not leads. That made everything smoother.

Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I recommend it for everyone? Not necessarily.

If you’re not comfortable negotiating, or if your biz is a tangled mess, a good broker might be worth the fee. But if you’ve got grit, a decent network, and a clear head?

Man… cutting out the middleman never felt so sweet 😎

Key Takeaways: Sell Smart, Stay Sharp

• 💸 You don’t need a broker—especially if you’ve built strong relationships and know your numbers.

• 🧹 Clean your house first—financials, processes, and mindset all need to be sharp before selling.

• 🤝 Pitch like a human—buyers are people. Treat them that way.

• 🧠 Be ready to walk away—not every offer is the right offer.

• 🧾 Lawyer up when it counts. Don’t skip the legal stuff, even if you’re doing it solo.

If you’re thinking about selling your service biz without giving away a chunk to a broker, trust your gut—but don’t skip the prep.

It’s not just about cashing out—it’s about doing it on your own terms.

And if you ever find yourself staring at a whiteboard at 2:17 AM with a weird grin and a warm energy drink… you’re probably doing it right.

Let me set the scene.

It’s 3:07 PM, I’m sitting in my truck outside a half-empty strip mall, staring at the dashboard like it just insulted my intelligence. My phone buzzes. It’s an email from my broker. Subject line: Offer Received. I don’t even open it right away. Why? Because I already knew the offer was gonna be weird.

And it was.

The buyer—let’s call him Mark—wanted to buy my business… but couldn’t pay the full amount upfront. He wanted to go the owner financing route.

Cue the sound of record scratching in my brain.

What Is Owner Financing? (And Why It Made Me Sweat)

Owner financing is basically where you, the seller, act like the bank.

Mark would give me a down payment, then pay off the rest over a few years, with interest. Sounds simple, right? Ha. That simplicity almost gave me hives. I like my money like I like my coffee—strong, upfront, and not delayed by flaky baristas.

But here’s the thing: the business had been on the market for months. Lots of tire kickers, few serious buyers. And this guy? He had operational chops, good credit, and a solid plan. Plus, he offered a decent down payment—enough to show he had skin in the game.

So I swallowed my pride, ran the numbers, and actually liked what I saw.

The Turning Point: When Risk Started Looking Like Opportunity

I sat down with my accountant (a man who could make a tax code sound like a bedtime story), and we walked through the pros and cons.

Turns out, with owner financing:

• I could set the interest rate. (I went with 7%. Spicy but fair.)

• I’d spread out the tax liability over several years instead of taking a big capital gains hit all at once.

• I’d keep a lien on the business assets as collateral, which gave me some peace of mind in case Mark went rogue.

It wasn’t just about getting out—it was about getting paid over time while the business still did its thing under someone else’s watch.

I remember telling my wife, “Babe, it’s like the business is still working for me… without me working for it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “So you’re still stressing over it, just for less money and no control?”

Fair point. But I wasn’t stressing—I was strategizing. 😉

Negotiating the Deal (AKA Playing Poker with a Smile)

Here’s where it got fun.

We negotiated over two weeks. Not in a boardroom. Not over Zoom. Over burgers, beers, and one memorable lunch at a place that served sushi burritos (still not sure how I feel about those).

I made sure to:

• Get a solid down payment. (No handshake deals. Cash talks.)

• Set clear terms. Interest rate, payment schedule, late fees—the whole shebang.

• Keep leverage. If Mark defaulted, I had the right to reclaim the business.

The contract was thick enough to use as a doorstop, but it was airtight. My lawyer even smiled when he signed off. That never happens.

A Few Months In… And I’m Still Smiling

Fast forward six months.

Mark’s running the business like a pro. I get a payment like clockwork every month. No surprises, no drama. Meanwhile, I’m taking walks, working on my next project, and—here’s the kicker—earning interest like a low-key loan shark.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely. With the right buyer and the right terms, owner financing wasn’t just the smartest dumb idea I ever had—it was a power move.

Key Takeaways: Selling with Owner Financing Doesn’t Mean Settling

• 💰 You can make more over time through interest and tax breaks.

• 📜 Structure matters—get everything in writing and make it airtight.

• 🤝 Vet your buyer like your retirement depends on it (because it might).

• 🧠 Think long game—this isn’t a quick exit, it’s a strategic shift.

If you’re thinking about selling your business and someone throws “owner financing” on the table, don’t run. Pause. Breathe. Do the math.

And maybe—just maybe—it’ll be the best offer you almost said no to.

Ready for a smart exit?
Don’t just sell your business. Sell it like a boss. 💼🔥